I was walking home from work in the chic River North neighborhood where I lived, clad in business casual, with a backpack as the finishing touch for my nerdy corporate finance bro outfit. I perceived that someone in my general vicinity who was walking like it was their first time on a sidewalk, speeding up and slowing down randomly. This was a frequent occurrence on my commute so I thought nothing of it. I was 20 something and the world was my oyster. I had nary a care, and certainly no reason to worry about the iPhone I was holding out in front of my face as I waited for the light to turn at a busy intersection. Then, suddenly, the phone was gone. It took a second to realize what had happened. By the time it dawned on me that the guy walking like a moron had been positioning himself to snatch my phone out of my hands, he had about half a block head start on me. I broke into a sprint, thankfully I had opted for the athletic soles on my leather shoes. My backpack bounced up and down as I pursued my [robber]. I shouted as I ran, “Stop that guy, he stole my phone!”